Things I Do & Don't Do

At a MOPS meeting recently, a friend mentioned something she had learned once from a speaker: Make a list of things you do and things you don't do.

I love this idea!  There are so many things that I try to do because I feel pressured to do them - - whether it's pressure from myself, my friends, Pinterest, Facebook, whatever!  But the things I do because I feel pressured to do them get in the way of the things that I want to do that I'm actually good at and want to make a priority!  So here's my list - - or at least a preliminary list.  The things in red are things I am trying to do (or not to do) - - goals.  :)

It is a priority of mine to support and respect my husband.

• I make his lunch whenever I can
• I ask him about his day
• I pray for him throughout the day
• I touch him, and let him touch me
• I look my best when he walks in the door
• I greet him with a smile

...so:

• I don't play with the kids 30 minutes before hubby gets home, to give myself time to get ready for him
• I don't wear provocative clothing (in public), to respect the fact that I am his and his alone
• I don't always clean the dishes after dinner, to make time for us and to have energy for him

It is a priority of mine to be the best mother I can be.

• I make homemade dinners at least 4 times a week
• I teach my kids to pray before meals and before bed
• I pray for my kids and my husband
• I get up when my kids get up
• I keep the house manageably clean
• I prioritize Fridays as family days
• I don't fight with my husband in front of the kids

...so:

• I don't make homemade bread, because I've tried and I'm bad at it
• I don't breastfeed (anymore), because I was giving my boys the worst of myself when I felt tied down with breastfeeding
• I don't swear, because I don't want my boys to
• I don't let just anyone watch my boys, because not everyone has the same values that I do
• I don't listen to whining, because I want my boys to know how to communicate effectively

{This list could be longer - - of things I do and things I don't do - - but I'll stop there, and won't get on my soap box at this time about how I mother my kids.  You're welcome.}

It is a priority of mine to be the best minister I can be.

• I go in to the church early on Sundays
• I pray before starting curriculum
• I work hard on my church duties when I'm at church, and often during nap time at home
• I make an effort to keep in touch with people from church throughout the week
• I pray for my volunteers

...so:

• I don't tell you I'll pray for you when I won't, because prayer is powerful and if you think I'm praying for you it's important that I am
• I don't stay late on Sundays very often, because everyone deserves to get the very best of me and I've been there since 6:30am

It is a priority of mine to make myself a priority. (Yes, I need to work on this one...)

• I get the sunlight I need whenever possible
• I eat at least two meals a day
• I connect with my accountability partner weekly
• I buy myself clothes when I need them
• I rest during nap time
• I get some sort of salon procedure done once a month (i.e. pedicure, waxing, etc.)
• I eat as much chocolate as I want
• I exercise
• I get fresh air
• I spend time alone or with friends, out of the house and away from the kids
• I keep myself clean (spit-up, drool, poop, etc. doesn't stay on me)

...so:

• I don't do most crafts I find on Pinterest, because they frustrate me and take up all my alone time
• I don't do any housework (except laundry) during nap time, to give myself time to relax
• I don't run very many errands with the boys, because it exhausts me and so I have things to do outside the house after hubby gets home

That's all I can think of right now!  These ideas have been brewing in my head for a while now, so it's nice to get them down on "paper."  Thanks for reading!

Best Feeding Method for my Family

DISCLAIMER: This post includes MY opinions about what works best for MY family in terms of feeding.  I don't judge you, you don't judge me.  Okay?  {By reading on you are agreeing to not judge} :)  Thanks!

When my Peanut was born, I planned to try breastfeeding.  Once breastfeeding was going well, I made it my goal to nurse him for 6 months (and in the back of my mind, if I made it to 3 months I would consider that a huge success!).

Well, the Peanut got his first taste of formula at 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days old.  And let me tell you, it's the best thing I've done for our family since coming home from the hospital!

I love that I exclusively breastfed for as long as I did.  I'm proud of myself for making it that long - - significantly longer than I made it with the Love Bug!  I know that "Breast is Best."  I'm not arguing with that - - it just makes sense that the best nutrition for my baby would be what God gave me to feed him!  Doy, people.  God knows what He's doing!  But for my family, right now, a combination of breastmilk AND {brace yourself} formula is best.

When I was exclusively breastfeeding, I was in a slump.  I don't want to go so far as to say I hated breastfeeding, but... well, I hated breastfeeding.  I formula-fed my firstborn, so I was used to being able to look into my son's eyes while feeding him.  I couldn't do that while breastfeeding.  I also couldn't leave the house without pumping my brains out, which made it so difficult to do anything that made me feel like a normal human being.  I didn't like being the only one who could feed him, because I also wanted to be able to make dinner each night, regardless of when the Peanut needed to be fed.

After two months of feeling more like a milk maid than a mom, I finally talked to my husband about introducing formula.  Here's what we came up with:

I would nurse him when he woke up first thing in the morning (usually between 6-7am)
He would get bottles of formula all through the day, until 7pm
I would pump during nap time
I would nurse him at bedtime (7pm) and throughout the night whenever he woke up (usually between 11:30-12:30 and 3-4am when we started out)
The milk I pump is being saved in the freezer for the day he does turn 6 months old and I really am done with breastfeeding all together - - that way, he'll still be able to get at least a little breastmilk after I'm done.

OH.  MY.  GOODNESS.  What a difference it made!  Not only am I happier, but my kids have their mama back.  I can now cherish the time I spend holding my Peanut for his feedings.  I can look him in the eye and he'll even stop once in a while to smile at me.  He's still getting the nutrients of my breastmilk, without making me feel like a milkmaid all day long.  I can bring him to the babysitter and go to work without pumping while I get dressed in the morning.  And hubby can feed him, too!

Happy baby AND mama after first taste of formula!

This is what is working for our family.  I know that Breast is Best, and that's why he's still getting that milky goodness, too.  If you're considering stopping breastfeeding, I encourage you to consider a similar schedule, where you nurse half the time and use formula the other half.  Be aware of what it will do to your milk supply, though!  I anticipate I'll be done nursing and pumping by the time he's 6 months old (which is the way I want it - - but make sure you are okay with what it will do to your body).  Do your research!  Here are some links that really helped me:

Breastfeeding vs Formula Feeding Infographic
The Common Misconceptions of Formula Feeding Mothers
How I Stored 300 ounces of Breastmilk in 3 Months
Timeline of a Breastfed Baby

Happy feeding - however you choose!

Family Prayer Board

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." ~ Deuteronomy 4:9 (NIV)

We have been trying so hard to pray as a family.  It's hard sometimes, though, to remember what we should be praying for - - and who we should be praying for.  I feel like so often I tell people I will pray for them - - and I always say a quick prayer right then, but I don't always follow through and continue to pray for them.

I came up with this idea while changing my son's diaper, actually - don't ask me why.  I wanted to make a display where we could write down things that we should be praying for.  Whenever someone asks for prayer, or whenever we have something that we should be praying about (or praising God for, certainly!) we now have somewhere to write it down.

All I did was bought a chalkboard from Staples, then used white paint to write "Prayers" on it.  Now we can write our prayers on the board, and we see them all the time.  Whenever we see it, we can say a prayer.

Lessons from 2013

About a year ago (at the turn of 2013), I posted what I had learned over the course of 2011-2012.  I was looking back on my posts from last January, just to see where I was a year ago.  It was so interesting to read about the lessons God had taught me in that time, which now seems so long ago.  My post from January 2013 made me want to write a similar one for this year: What I learned in 2013.

As I look back on my year, there is one theme that stands out in my mind: Community.  I have posted about this before, but it really was such a prevalent theme in my year, that it deserves a deeper look.

God has revealed to me three specific aspects of community in 2013 that I really don't want to forget.  The first is The Importance of Community.  If I were to be completely honest with myself (and those of you reading this post), I spend most of 2012 being lonely.  In fact, I have spend most of my life feeling lonely.  The longevity of my loneliness is probably the reason why I never really thought that there was anything else.  The importance of community never dawned on me until I truly experienced it.  When we moved to our current hometown, I was a little worried that we were moving further from family, but I was so excited to be near our church.  Even before we were here, God gave me a sense of peace that we would find new and long-lasting relationships when living closer to our church family.  That's exactly what our church became for us once we moved here: a family.  I can't imagine going back to the way things were before we were here.  Even on days when I don't see or talk to anyone but my kids and husband, I know that I have a support system here.  I know that there are people who genuinely care about me and who are really praying for me.

Photo taken by Kelley

That leads me to the second thing I learned in 2013: The Meaning of Having a Community.  It is one thing to go through the motions of church and not really get connected; it is something entirely different to experience the fellowship that church was designed to be, and to develop lasting relationships that make a difference in your life.  For me, having a community means that there are people whom I can ask for help (even though I'm not always good at that... I'm working on it!) when I'm in a tough spot.  It means that when I need prayer, there are people ready and so willing to pray for me.  Having a community means there are people to get out of the house with (or who will happily babysit my kids for me) when I get stir-crazy.  I have a support system that I know God is using to make me a better person.  Having a community sometimes means there will be people who call me out when I'm out of line.  They'll whip me back into shape so that I am being the best Elizabeth that I can be.  I am so grateful to have support systems in the forms of my small group, my accountability partner (which is someone I just paired up with this year - - and it's one of the best things I did in 2013!), the ministry I am part of at church, my neighbors, Facebook groups, MOPS, fellow staff members, and my family.


Photo taken by Tim



Photo from Jan's camera



Photo taken by Mark



Photo taken by Greg

The Meaning and Importance of Being Part of a Community is the third lesson that stands out to me from 2013.  I confess I am still working on this one (though, if I'm honest, I'm still working on all of these points).  As a part of the community, I have a responsibility to my friends.  It's not an obligation, though - - it's something I want to do as a member of the community.  I want to talk on the phone with these people, I want to help them take care of their kids, laugh with them, and lift them up in prayer.  I want to be by their side when they are hurting, and at their kids' birthday parties.  It is so meaningful to not only have the support system in place for myself, but to actually be that person for someone else!  I've been that person for people in the past, sure - - but never in the context of community like I've felt this past year.  It is for this reason that I am so grateful for these lessons that the Lord has taught me this year.

To those of you through whom God has taught me these lessons this year, thank you from the bottom of my heart!  Thank you for being my truest friends, and for sticking by me closer than a brother.

Community

Community - - I've always thought I knew the meaning of the word.  Until today, when I realized that I had no concept of how to accept the community of others.

I have had an anxiety-filled day.  It shouldn't have been that way, but when you're 30 weeks pregnant and forced to do the one thing that you hate most in the world (yes, that just might be the hormones talking), the simplest of errands can feel like it ends in catastrophe.

On my way out the door to get some routine blood work done this morning, I wrote a Facebook post that many people do when they're feeling the way I felt: I asked for prayer.  When I got into the parking lot of the hospital, I said a prayer myself.  I prayed that God would give me peace, that He would provide me with a technician who really knew what they were doing, and that I would hardly feel the needle that I was fearing so much.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, grabbed my son out of the back seat, and headed in.  When I got to the front desk, the woman looked at me, with my toddler in my arms, and asked if I knew this was a one-hour test.  I told her I hadn't realized.  She then asked me if I had fasted.  No, I hadn't.  I'm pregnant and eat around the clock.  I told her I would figure out another time to come in, and left.

Anxiety spiked.  Now, instead of getting my blood work done in one quick swipe, I would have to sit around the office for an entire hour on an empty stomach.  Not only that, but I would have to figure out how to pay a babysitter for that time.  Financial stress was the last thing I needed.

When I got home I continued to feel Satan attacking me in a way he hasn't in a long time.  I felt everything caving in around me, and I didn't know what to do.  Then the Lord reminded me of the community around me.  The community that was the reason why we moved here in the first place.  He did so through several wonderful people.

Accepting help is not something I do easily.  Tomorrow morning before breakfast I will bring the Love Bug to a friend's house and get the dreaded blood work done without a toddler in toe.  What a blessing it is to have people surrounding me with prayers and love and support, and what an incredible added blessing that several friends have offered to actually help out!  I could not be more thankful.

I promise to make an effort to accept help more often, if you will promise to hold me to it?

Waiting

I heard a statistic a long time ago about how long the average person spends in their life waiting for something.  If you Google it, you'll get all kinds of different answers.  Ask.com said that the average person spends 2 weeks waiting at red lights... then if you scroll down you'll see they also say 8 years for the same statistic.  Who knows?  All I know is it's a long time.

AnYwAyS... when I first heard whichever statistic I heard, I made a decision that I would never waste time waiting for something again.  I would always have something to do while I wait, whether it be homework (at the time I was in high school), memorizing scripture, ding a Sudoku puzzle... anything other than sitting around and waiting.

And yet here I sit, ten years later... waiting... for hubby to get home, for another life on Candy Crush, for the baby to come, for some clarity as to what I am to do with my life, for the baby to kick so I know that everything is still okay...

But perhaps waiting isn't the worst thing in the world?  Maybe it's while I wait that I have the time to relax, and start to hear the voice of God more clearly?  Maybe what I am willing to wait for says something about who I am.  Maybe waiting helps me to trust in God in a whole new way.

So I'll wait.  Maybe it won't always be patiently, but I will know that as I wait the Lord is working in me.

Easter Gifts for Childcare Workers

At my church, the nursery is almost always open - - something I am very grateful for, as the mother of a 14-month-old who loves to move around and talk (loudly) during service.

I wanted to give the nursery workers a small gift of appreciation for their dedication to helping young families like ours enjoy the services on Easter.  I have no money, and I am not very crafty.  This is what I came up with (and I'm a little proud of them!).

 

 

Cookies in baggies - - cost me no money because I had all the ingredients on hand... and the baggies as well.  I was tempted to run to the store and grab some (off-budget) cuter bags, but I resisted.

 

Those little flowers I have had in my crafting box for a long time now.  Same with the cardstock.

 

What are you doing for the childcare workers at your church this Easter?  Did this post inspire you?  Leave me some love!

 

Devos - Tidbits

If you're following your devos with me, you should be reading somewhere around John 10, somewhere in the middle of James, and Proverbs 10.

Today is a really cool day for how the devos work out - - especially if you are starting over in the book of James.

This reading will bring us in to the beginning of meditations about Jesus' path to the cross.  Easter is on March 31 this year - - exactly 3 weeks from today.  As you go through the rest of the book of John, you will start to see Jesus willingly headed toward the cross to die for each of us.

John 10:14 "I am the good shepherd.  I know my sheep, and my sheep know me, just as the Father knows me, and I know the Father.  I give my life for the sheep."

We are the sheep.  If you want to dig a little deeper, listen to these sermons that my beloved pastor gave, and read Psalm 23.

Fearless (Pastor John Keller) - - he'll make one quick announcement that doesn't apply any more, then go in to the sermon.


Rest (Pastor Andy Sass) - - If you're only going to listen to one, choose this one!

Restore (Pastor Andy Sass) -

God's Thoughts (Pastor Andy Sass)

Devotions

Are you having a hard time getting into the habit of doing devotions?  Well, the first of the month is a great time to start!!

If you are a Christian and you have simply been having a hard time getting into God's Word, I highly recommend that you go through the following books of the Bible:

John

James

Proverbs

Let's take this one book at a time...

John
Open your Bible to John 1 and start reading.  When you feel you have gotten all you need out of it for the day, you stop reading.  In John this could be any amount from a few verses to three chapters.  It just depends on what God is speaking into your life each day.  When you come back tomorrow, you should be able to remember where you left off.  If you find yourself not paying attention to what you're reading, that's a clue that you should stop reading on John for that day.

You'll want to have finished John at least one time by the end of this month.  There are 21 chapters in John.  If you complete the whole book twice or more throughout the month, you're going too fast.  If you don't finish the book at all, you're going to slow.

James
After you read John, turn to James.  James was Jesus' half-brother.  He spent his childhood growing up with the Savior of the world.  This made him very wise.  James is my favorite book of the Bible.  You're going to do the same thing that you did with John, but you probably won't end up reading nearly as much of James each day.  Again, you should be able to come back the next day and remember where you left off.

You might go through James a few times this month.  When you finish the book, go back and start at the beginning.  You'll be surprised what different things God can say to you through the same book.

Proverbs
Proverbs is the last book that you'll read, and it has a specific amount that you will read.  There are 31 Proverbs - - perfect for going through them each month!!  So on the 1st of the month, you'll read Proverbs 1, on the 2nd you'll read the 2nd Proverb, and so on.  If you miss a day of devos, this is what will tell you.  Don't get discouraged, just read the Proverb that goes along with that day of the month - - even if it means that you have to skip a chapter.

When this month is over, check back here!  If I get a good response, I will keep up with giving you books of the Bible that will help you keep up with your devos.

Stay-At-Home Mama's Paycheck

This is just for fun today - - I was thinking about how much I might be paid if I were a "professional" Stay-at-Home Mom... here's what I came up with!

Choose how you would be paid, and calculate it!  It's fun :)

Childcare - - Minimum Pay $80.41/day, or $402.05/week
Classroom Teacher - Work 7:30-6:30, with two one-hour breaks for nap time = 9 hours a day at $7.25/hr
...if you have early childhood credits, add another $.25/hr for each credit
...if you have a college degree, add another $.75/hr

At the very minimum - - $65.25 per day

Daycare Director (if you push paperwork for your child's medical care, babysitters, etc.) - ~2 hours per month = 4 minutes/day at $10/hr
...if your child has special needs, add more time based on how much paperwork there is
...if you have a business degree, add another $5/hr
...if you have more than one child, double, triple, quadruple the time accordingly

At the very minimum - - $.66 per day

Extra Help (if you have children with special needs) - 2 hours per day at $7.25/hr
...if you have a degree in special education, you should be making around $10/hr (and add more if you have graduate degrees)
...depending on the extent of the needs of your child, add more time

At the very minimum - - $14.50 per day

Housework - - Minimum Pay $19/day, or $95/week
You'll have to calculate your own housework hours, based on how big your house is
Minimum 1 hour per day at an average of $15/hr
...if you have experience cleaning houses professionally, use the rate you used when you cleaned
...if you make your own cleaners, add in the hours spent making them and the money you saved your family

Laundry - - $4/load, averaging 1 load a day for a small family = $4/day, or $20/week
...if you wash your clothes by hand, calculate your pay hourly based on time you spend actively washing/hanging/folding clothes at $8/hr
...if you hang-dry your machine-washed clothes, add $.50 per load for saving your family money
...add another $1/hr per child in your family (add another $1/hr for each child if you hand-wash)

At the very minimum - - $4 per day

Bill Paying - - Minimum Pay $3.11/day, or $21.77/week
Taxes - Once a year, if you do your own $30/hour (add $5 for each year of experience you have doing this) for 3 hours

At the very minimum - - $.25 per day

($90 per year / 365 days)

 

Monthly Bills - $2 per bill you pay by writing the check and mailing, figure 5 bills a week

...if you have to go to the Post Office, add another $4 per trip for travel time

...if you have to walk across the street to get to the mailbox, add another $3 per crossing ($6 per trip to the mailbox) for the danger

At the very minimum - - $1.43 per day

($10 per week / 7 days)

 

Weekly Budget Meeting -2 hours a week at $5/hr = $10 per week

...if you have gone through any coursework that helps with budgeting, add another $3 per week

...if you stick to the budget, you get another $3 per week

At the very minimum - - $1.43 per day

($10 per week / 7 days)

Health Care - - Minimum Pay $4.29/day, or $30/week

Boo Boo Preparedness - Flat rate of $30/week

...if you have a degree in medicine, add however much you think that's worth

...if you have more than one child, add another $10 per week per child

...if you have boys, add another $5 per boy per week

...if you have toddlers between the ages of 13months-24months, add another $5 per toddler per week

At the very minimum - - $4.29 per day

($30 per week / 7 days)

 

Meal Preparation - - Minimum Pay  $15/day, or $105/week

Each Meal - $5 per meal (or $15 per day)

...if you cook from scratch, add in another $5 per meal

...if you ever bake, add another $2 per baked good you make each week on average

...if you use organic ingredients, add another $1 per meal

...if you cook for guests at least once every week, add another $10 per week

...if you have more than 4 people to cook for (including yourself), add another $1 per meal

...if you make separate meals for different kids because of picky eaters or allergies, count those meals separately

At the very minimum - - $15 per day

 





Minimum Yearly Pay: $33,998.64

So... can your hubby afford to pay you?

This certainly isn't meant to downgrade what our hubbies do to support our families.  It's just fun to look at, and hopefully will boost your spirits the next time you feel like what you are doing isn't worthwhile.  Above all else, remember what God says about our job:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

~ Colossians 3:23

Daily Bread Box

I don't know what gave me the idea for this box - - though I can't imagine it's an original idea.  I have been having trouble spending daily time in God's Word, and as I was thinking about how I wanted to arrange our new apartment, I came up with this idea!

God's Word is supposed to be our daily bread - - meaning His Word is what fills us up, and we need it every day.  I need to get better at this, so I came up with the daily bread box.  The little box that clementines come in is how I started.  When we had finished eating up those yummy clementines, I got to work decorating my box!

The theme in my new kitchen is quilting.  I made this utensil canister at my beloved Splatters Studio, and that is what I am creating my kitchen based off of.

To make your Daily Bread Box, you'll need:

• Empty Clementine Box
• Scrapbooking paper
• Mod Podge
• Paint Brush
• Newspaper
• Staple Remover (Scissors work, too)
• A space away from any kiddos

 *I couldn't find a paint brush in my house to save my life, so I used a sock.  I am a firm believer that if you have to buy supplies to make a craft, it isn't saving you money.  I didn't want to invest any money in this craft.

Step One - - Remove Staples
The first thing to do is to get those extra staples out of your box.  It was a little difficult just using scissors, but I managed to get all of them!  Be careful as you do this to not take out the staples that are actually holding the box together.

Step Two - - Mod Podge
After all your staples are out, you can start in with your Mod Podge!  You'll want your paper cut out beforehand so that your Mod Podge doesn't dry out as you're cutting.

How To Mod Podge:

Mini-Step One - - Glob the stuff on surface

Put a nice glob of Mod Podge all over the surface, as big as your first piece of paper that you are gluing down.

Mini-Step Two - - Place paper on the Mod Podge

Place your paper on the Mod Podge.  You'll want to smooth it out so that there are no air bubbles underneath it, and so your paper is tight against the surface of your craft.

Mini-Step Three - - Paint Mod Podge over the paper

Mod Podge is glue that you put under and on top of your paper.  It will make the surface smooth and glossy.

Step Three - - Let Dry
This is an important step.  Give your Daily Bread Box plenty of time to dry.  If you touch it before it completely dries, you'll be left with paper shreds coming off of the area you touched.

Step Four - - Fabric Paint
I used fabric paint to create stitching on my box (quilting theme).  I also used it to write Daily Bread Box on it!

This craft could totally be done many different ways.  I can imagine that staining the wood would look very cool, or you could even go more primitive and paint it.  If you make a Daily Bread Box and do it differently, send me the link and I'll link it here in my post!!

Happy Crafting!

Valentine's Day - - Be Thankful

I was browsing on Facebook when I came across a friend's status update that was so uplifting I just had to share it with you!

My husband doesn't usually surprise me with flowers or candy. He doesn't whisk me off on romantic getaways or escort me around to the finest restaurants. I don't have an expensive engagement ring and I won't find any little boxes on Valentine's Day. What my husband does do outweighs anything he doesn't. He wakes up everyday, prepared to be the leader of our home. He loves me unconditionally and will put our family's needs in front of his wants. I rest assured that I can depend on him in any situation and we will come out stronger than before. If Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate anything, I will be celebrating the love of a godly man ♥

This Valentine's Day, don't focus on what your husband doesn't do for you.  Don't think about the candy you were hoping for, the flowers he hasn't bought you, or the getaway you had been planning in your daydreams.  Remember why you married your man, and thank him as well as God for the blessings he brings to you and to your family.

52 Reasons I am Thankful for my Husband

• He provides for our family - - no matter how difficult
• He makes sure that I am relaxed and have time for myself
• He prays with me
• He happily plays with our son
• He always goes to work
• He is an excellent employee
• He holds me at night
• He tells me that he loves me
• He brings me home little treats once in a while
• He comes home from a 12 hour shift and does housework
• He cares a great deal about the wellbeing of our son
• He loves our son
• He stands up for our family
• He encourages me
• He puts the Love Bug to bed each night
• He doesn't whine
• He is quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry
• He has a great conscience
• He is tidy (for the most part!)
• He values our relationship enough to stay up all night to work out an argument
• He is my best friend
• He supports me in my decisions
• He tells me what he honestly thinks, and does so kindly
• He compliments me
• He loves me unconditionally
• He loves the Lord
• He is musical
• He is inventive
• He can fix anything... sometimes just by touching it!
• He doesn't swear
• He speaks well of people
• He controls his anger
• He asks me my opinion
• He was so patient with me when I was pregnant and hormonal
• He will never leave me
• He'll buy me feminine products
• He's hot
• He has a unique smile
• He only has eyes for me
• He loves making me smile
• He loves making our son laugh
• He saved himself for me
• He reminds me to take Midol when I'm cramping
• He is humble
• He's creative
• He helps me feel safe
• He protects our family
• He turns the lights off and locks the doors at night
• He takes his time making big decisions
• He is very generous
• He keeps his word
• He supports me in my goals

Go text your hubby and tell him one thing you're thankful for about him!!

15 Ways to Save Your Marriage

 

If you want to save your marriage, Jesus is the only way!  Soak up all the good Words of God that you can, and work hard to apply them to your marriage.

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,  and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Don't dwell on what he's doing or not doing, focus on what you can do better.  Here are some starting points:

1. Communicate Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:5-6
2. Have sex - often May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Proverbs 5:18-19
3. Speak well of your husband behind his back A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
4. Encourage him As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
5. Write notes for him to find throughout the day Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
6. Listen to him To answer before listening - that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
7. Be prudent with your money, especially if your husband is the only wage-earner Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14
8. Remain faithful to your husband A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10
9. Realize that love is a verb - - it's what you do, not what you feel Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12
10. Be his best friend A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
11. Spend daily time with the Lord Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
12. Talk together about God The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10
13. Forgive him A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
14. Live by God's standards Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. Proverbs 3:7
15. Don't be ashamed to get counseling from a Christian counselor Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice? Proverbs 8:1

10 Reasons I'm Grateful for our Struggles

We just moved out of our teeny-tiny one-bedroom apartment into a three-bedroom townhouse.  Can I just say "aaaahhhhh."  Space to breathe!!

As happy as I am here, and as pleased as I am that we are out of that season of our lives - - I am also so grateful for the time we spent in that apartment.  Here's why...
 
10.  It taught me to be creative in how I keep house
9.  What a blessing it was to be in an apartment that we could afford!!
8.  We got to live close to family for a season
7.  Our landlord restored our faith in all landlords (and it was so nice to have a Christian landlord!)
6.  So many memories were made in that home <3 
5.  Living in the apartment helped us realize the importance of getting out for a date night.
4.  We met people who truly blessed us
3.  The tiny apartment helped us to realize how blessed we were to even have a place to live!
2.  Living in a small space brought us closer as a family.
1.  The experience helped us to look forward to and enjoy the blessings of our new home in ways that nothing else could!

Seeing God in the Details

I saw a pin on Pinterest yesterday - - it was a sign with this quote:

God doesn't give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we're given.

 I didn't realize how much I needed those words of encouragement until this morning.

We are in the middle of a move (we are making our long-awaited move to Batavia, NY on Saturday!) and because hubby works crazy hours, I am in charge of packing up the apartment!  What a task this is for a little stay-at-home mama of a 1-year-old!

We are also looking for someone to take our beloved cat, since we are moving to an apartment that doesn't allow cats.  This has been emotionally trying on my as it is (she's like a part of our family), but we have had two people back out of taking her at the last minute.  We're on to the third person, and hopefully it works out this time!

So many little trials have come up that we weren't anticipating.

• Keeley (our cat) still doesn't have a permanent home - - two days before our move
• We have drained all of our checking and savings accounts (and in the middle of taking Dave Ramsey's class - great!)
• We are rapidly running out of boxes to pack into (and of course have no money to buy new ones - - or a desire to pay for boxes)
• No more quarters for laundry, before moving into an apartment without a washer
• No money for a U-Haul

As I have been feeling the weight of every little thing during this process, I have had wonderful friends tell me more than once that God is in the details.  How true this is!  Even when things don't seem to be going the right way, isn't it encouraging to know that God is here with me - - experiencing everything as I experience it - - and being His all-powerful, all-knowing self.  He has the best interest of my family at heart, and I can rest in the fact that He is here with me... even in the details.

A midst the tiny trials, though, there have been so many little blessings:

• Boxes provided by family and friends who just had them in their garages or at work
• Quarters from a loving mama
• Company coming tonight to provide encouragement
• A wonderful sister-in-law who babysat our little man so we could go to class last night together
• Hubby is no longer working Saturdays, starting this week!!!!
• Wonderful friends who have encouraged me through Facebook
• A great support system at our church who will be helping us move on Saturday
• My lovely best friend who will be spending the entire day Saturday and the afternoon Sunday helping me and encouraging me
• Great babysitters to watch the little man on moving day
• No money for a U-Haul = the need for more trust in God
• No boxes to pack into = stretching of my creativity!

Isn't it great when the blessings outweigh the trials??  Praise the Lord for the trials, because the develop perseverance and faith in Him!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

~ James 1:2-5

[emphasis mine]

Packing Tips

My family is moving!!  We are so excited to be out of a one-bedroom apartment (with 3 people) and into a 3-bedroom!  Crazy thing is that we'll be paying less at our new place.  What a God thing.

I have to say that living in a one bedroom with three people has been a huge blessing to us in many ways.  For one thing, we were blessed to find a place that we could afford that was close to hubby's work.  We were also so very very blessed by our landlord.  Let me tell you, he has been so good to us!  What a wonderful thing to have a Christian landlord!!  But I think the best way that this place has been a blessing to us is that it has humbled us in ways we never thought possible.  We are more stingy with our money that we ever would have been if we had decided that we simply couldn't live in a one bedroom with a baby!  Let me tell you, with God all things are possible!!  We are also feeling less like we need things than ever before.  Rather than moving into this bigger apartment because we need to, we are more able to recognize that it is because we want the space.  It is a huge accomplishment for us to consider the difference between a want and a need.

Anyway, here are the packing tips that I have come up with while packing the odds and ends that have accumulated around the house.  Most of these are ways that I am trying to save mula in the midst of a move.  Let me know if you have any other ideas!!

Pack dishes in a plastic bin with blankets

I'm using blankets, hoodies, fabric napkins, and anything else that I will have to pack anyways instead of bubble wrap... it will serve the same purpose without us having to buy plastic that we will just throw away after the move.

The other thing about packing dishes that makes me nervous is putting them in a cardboard box.  It always makes me think that they will all fall out of the bottom of the box.  I'm using a plastic bin that I had in storage instead of a cardboard box.  It just gives me some peace of mind.

Garbage Bags are your Friend

Donate or throw away anything that you won't have a place for when you move.  I always hate having that one box of junk toward the end that really didn't fit into any other category, so you stuck all the odds and ends in it.  I decided with this move I didn't want any boxes that I was dreading going through, so I'm not putting anything in a box unless I have a place in mind for it.

Make sure you donate as much as you can, rather than throwing things away.  Try not to be wasteful, but if you don't have a place for it, you don't need it.

Masking Tape: Label your boxes with the room they're going to

When all your friends come over to pack up the U-Haul, it's going to be chaotic... no matter how much planning and packing you have already done.  If you're like me, you don't like chaos and will want to hit the pause button while you tidy around people and send them to the right place with each and every box.  Realize that you can't do that... and plan ahead.  Simple use of masking tape and a sharpie will get your boxes into the right rooms.  (Don't just write what's in the boxes, write which room they go to for your movers.)

Dust off that Crockpot

I'm packing up all our dishes so that we don't have to worry about washing dishes and pots and pans in the midst of packing.  My plan is to make a crockpot dinner each night and use paper plates, silverware, and napkins for the next 5 days before the move.

If you don't want to use paper and plastic products, pack up all but some of your dishes ahead of time and make sure everyone washes their own dishes each night.  This will take the pressure off you while your head is, well, everywhere else.

If you would like to see more of my tips for moving, click here!

Christian Inspiration for when you're Worn Out

One of my goals in writing this blog is to help my readers see that they have riches in Christ - - even when life is difficult.  My hubby and I have gone through our share of struggles, and we have certainly felt worn out.

If you are feeling worn out, come back to this post and click on one of the links to help yourself find strength in Christ.  I'll come back and update this list, too.

Bible Verses
You Say / God Says
Bible Verses for Faith in Times of Stress
Encouraging verses
Verses about when you're tired
Automatic Newsletters from Bible Gateway

Audio Devotionals
The Story of Jesus
Eternal Words
Witness the Bible Genesis to Jesus
                              Mark
                              Joseph and Judah

Books
Pathway to Purpose for Women by Katie Brazelton
Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge

Music
...Individual Songs
Tenth Avenue North Worn
Superchic[k] We Live
                      Stand in the Rain
                      Beauty from Pain
Jamie Grace Holding On
                     Hold Me
...Radio
Family Life Network - - You can listen online here
K-Love - - You can listen online here

Movies/TV Shows
Mother Teresa (1986)
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

Facebook Groups
Rags - and Riches
Girlfriends in God
I Love Being a Mom
Family Life
K-Love Morning Show
The Quiet Place

May the God of Peace richly bless you as you seek Him through your struggles.

 

You Are Beautiful #3: Make a Change

Boy, this has been a great series!  We're on to my third post of this series on a woman's natural beauty.  If you have missed the last two, I suggest you start with the first and second posts before reading this one.

It's so easy for us as women to feel unbeautiful.  We've talked about how our mindsets are affected when we surround ourselves with the media rather than God's Truth.  But sometimes even when our hearts and minds are in the right place we still feel unattractive.  What can we do about that?

You Are Beautiful #3: Make a Change

We need to realize how our bodies and faces are beautiful.  Take a good look in the mirror and point out the aspects that make you beautiful.  Even better, have your husband or a good friend do this for you.  Have them be specific.  Write down what they say.

Something amazing happens when we write things down.  Yesterday we wrote down verses that would remind us of our beauty.  The act of writing down encouraging words helps that encouragement to stick in your mind.  Once it is in your mind, it will eventually collide with your heart.

The other thing that writing down positive and encouraging messages to yourself does is it gives you something to look back on when you're feeling down.  Keep the paper on which you're writing these things down and look back on it often.

When you're done with this exercise, pick out three things from your list that you feel good about naturally.  Put stars by those.

Pick out three things from your list that you find it hard to believe is beautiful about you.  Underline these.

Take those underlined things and we're going to work on them.  No, this doesn't mean that we're going to "fix" what you think is wrong with yourself - - because it is obviously something that is beautiful about you.  The people in your life (especially a family member) won't lie to you about what makes you beautiful to them.  You know how it's easiest to be mean to the person you're closest to?  Well, if you had a sister or your hubby make this list for you, you can bank on the fact that they didn't lie.  They'll be more honest than a girlfriend or most strangers off the street, who might try flattering you just to be nice or avoid conflict.

Take a look at the list I've compiled below and follow the appropriate links, based on what you want to feel better about.  You'll be making a change in how you show off that part of your body so that you feel better about it.

Hair - - Go get your hair done professionally.  Get a new style or color, or just learn how to style your hair differently!  There are lots of YouTube videos that can help you - - type in "how to style ___ (short/long/medium) hair"
Complexion - - Visit the link to find out what colors you should wear to best compliment your complexion.
Nose - - I strongly encourage you to learn to accept your nose as it is.  If it bothers you very much, find ways to accent your other features (like your eyes or cheekbones).  God made you beautiful - - and He made your nose to perfectly accent your face.  If you feel like it is too big or small or curvy, you are not doing a good job accenting your other features.
Eyes - - The link here will show you a way to moisturize your lashes - which will help them to not fall out and possibly even be fuller!  Eyelashes were made not only to keep things out of our eyes, but to accentuate the natural beauty of your eyes.
Neck - - If you're like me, you have some flab under your chin.  Ugh!  Don't you hate it?  The way I deal with it is to keep my heal up high.  When I look down, I try to keep my chin away from my neck.  But every once in a while, to make sure I'm not getting too vain, I do pull my chin close to my neck and embrace the skin I'm in... even if it is stretchier than I'd prefer.
Breasts - - If you're married, I hope your husband has told you how much he loves your breasts.  If he hasn't, ask him!  I can't tell you what a difference it makes when you ask your hubby something rather than assuming you know what he thinks!  The other day I laid down on the bed and asked my hubby, "Which is sexier?" and I kept giving him choices of how I could pose for him.  Can I just tell you that I got a huge ego boost.  Asking the hubby specific questions gave him the opportunity to tell me exactly what he likes.  Whether you're married or not, though, the best way to feel good about your bust is to wear the right bra.  If you go to a department store you can get measured, or if you're more comfortable you can measure yourself.  Buying the right bra will help you feel good about how you look.
Hips - - If you feel like your hips are too big, the key is to not draw attention to them.  You can learn a lot about how to dress appropriately based on your body type using this book.  Until you get that book, when you choose your clothes, try to find shirts that go below your pants line.  Don't wear skinny jeans.  Use belts to keep those pants up!
Butt - - That book will also help you if you have problems with your butt.  Here's my suggestion for you if you think your butt is too big or too skinny or too bony or whatever... wear sexy panties!  As long as they are the right size, you'll feel better about yourself!
Belly - - Okay, can I just say that the book Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad is an awesome book??  Read it!!  But until then, let yourself feel like your belly is sexy.  Often our husbands think that our bellies are sexy simply because they are imperfect.  Our imperfections do two things: 1) They make us unique.  2) They show our hubbies that they don't have to be perfect, which makes them feel sexier.  Try this product for when you're going out, and remember that you're sexier without it.
Thighs - - Yup, that book is for your thighs too!  Dressing to fit your body type makes a world of difference.  Here's your first job, though - get rid of all your skinny jeans and get some tailored jeans.
Calves - -
Feet - - If you feel like your feet are too big, find shoes that are more delicate and dainty.  Wear flare jeans.  If you feel like your feet are too small, wear jeggings and flats or normal jeans and some clunkier shoes.  If you have trouble with foot odor, there are products that can help you with that!
Hands - - Wear rings!  Do your nails!
Arms - - Choose arm lengths that are flattering on you and that you feel comfortable with.
Height - - That book I keep talking about will address height and how to dress and accesorize properly based on your height.  Bottom line, if you're tall, use big accessories and if you're short use smaller accessories.  If you are short, you can always wear heels, but I would encourage you to embrace your height.  If you're tall, embrace it and enjoy all the things you can do that short women can't!
Teeth - - I have always thought that unique smiles are the prettiest.  When I was in high school I got braces, and I hated them with every fiber of my being.  I felt like they drew attention to my already ugly smile.  I was so excited to get them off, and I wore my retainer for a while.  But then I got married and I didn't want to wear the retainer at night any more, so I stopped.  My teeth moved a little bit since then.  I have to tell you - - I love my smile now!  All I need is for them to be white and healthy, and I'm happy with the crooked teeth because they make me unique.
Wardrobe - - Choose clothes that fit you well.  Choose clothes that you feel comfortable in.  Choose clothes that you will wear over and over again.  There is no need to have lots of clothes in your wardrobe, you just need layerable clothes.

Once you have finished making changes in the way you see yourself, get some professional photos taken of yourself and your family!  Trust me, when you get the pictures back, you'll be able to see yourself through another pair of eyes.

If you want to take an extreme step in changing the way you see yourself, check out this opportunity put forth by Christian author Shari Braendel.  If Beauty Boot Camp is too expensive for you, check out her book Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad.

 

 

Like what you read?  Leave me a comment!

See my past posts about this topic here:

You Are Beautiful #1: Surround Yourself with the Truth

You Are Beautiful #2: Post Verses About Your Beauty Around Your House