Hardest Job in the World??

There was a video that went viral the other day about the job of a mother - - and how it's the hardest job in the world.  It was a cool video, actually.  Very clever.  But it has sparked a lot of conversation about whether or not mothering truly is the hardest job in the world?

I've actually been thinking about this question for a while now - - a friend of mine had posted an article on Facebook that questioned this thesis that being a stay-at-home parent is not actually the hardest job in the world.  I didn't read the article, but I read some of my friends' responses to this post, and was quite insulted by what some people had to say about what I do.

Here's the thing: Of course mothering is not the hardest job in the world!  Duh!  There are people in the bonds of slavery in our own country.  There are children working for pennies a day.  I have it much better than a lot of people.  But I think what people are trying to say when they state that parenthood is the hardest job in the world is that it's harder than you might think.

There are so many rewards to mothering, and I don't think anyone would argue with that.  I don't think I have to even mention how it feels when my son calls me "mama" or when he walked for the first time, or the joys of teaching them about Jesus.  Being a mother is so very rewarding, and it's the highest calling I have.  But the rewards don't take away from how difficult my job is.

What makes mothering hard is that people constantly need me.  There is very little time to care for myself, because I'm caring for my adorable little redheads.

What makes mothering hard is the physical reaction that only I have to my kids.  There are mothers who breastfeed until their nipples bleed (admittedly, not I!).  When my kids cry, it physically hurts me.  I delivered these children, and my body will never be the same.  It still is painful to do some simple things.  Postpartum depression sets in and I'm gone for the day.  Stay-at-home dads can't even relate to that.

What makes mothering hard is the sleepless nights.  Last night my OLDEST son was up at least once every hour.  When he's not up, the Peanut is up.  When they're both sleeping, I can't because I'm waiting to hear one of them cry, or worrying about how to pay for college.

What makes mothering hard is the tremendous pressure I am under.  There are pressures to choose the right foods, discipline techniques, schools, toys, books.  Pressures to raise my boys, keep them alive, teach them to love Jesus, and help them become the men they are supposed to grow into.  I can't imagine a pressure higher than that.

I love being a mother, and I am rewarded {almost} every day by my kids.  But don't ever discount what I do, and don't pretend that you have any idea about how easy or hard my job is.  If you do, just know that I'm sleep deprived and could at any moment burst into tears or slap you across the face.  Because I'm a mother.

Things I Do & Don't Do

At a MOPS meeting recently, a friend mentioned something she had learned once from a speaker: Make a list of things you do and things you don't do.

I love this idea!  There are so many things that I try to do because I feel pressured to do them - - whether it's pressure from myself, my friends, Pinterest, Facebook, whatever!  But the things I do because I feel pressured to do them get in the way of the things that I want to do that I'm actually good at and want to make a priority!  So here's my list - - or at least a preliminary list.  The things in red are things I am trying to do (or not to do) - - goals.  :)

It is a priority of mine to support and respect my husband.

• I make his lunch whenever I can
• I ask him about his day
• I pray for him throughout the day
• I touch him, and let him touch me
• I look my best when he walks in the door
• I greet him with a smile

...so:

• I don't play with the kids 30 minutes before hubby gets home, to give myself time to get ready for him
• I don't wear provocative clothing (in public), to respect the fact that I am his and his alone
• I don't always clean the dishes after dinner, to make time for us and to have energy for him

It is a priority of mine to be the best mother I can be.

• I make homemade dinners at least 4 times a week
• I teach my kids to pray before meals and before bed
• I pray for my kids and my husband
• I get up when my kids get up
• I keep the house manageably clean
• I prioritize Fridays as family days
• I don't fight with my husband in front of the kids

...so:

• I don't make homemade bread, because I've tried and I'm bad at it
• I don't breastfeed (anymore), because I was giving my boys the worst of myself when I felt tied down with breastfeeding
• I don't swear, because I don't want my boys to
• I don't let just anyone watch my boys, because not everyone has the same values that I do
• I don't listen to whining, because I want my boys to know how to communicate effectively

{This list could be longer - - of things I do and things I don't do - - but I'll stop there, and won't get on my soap box at this time about how I mother my kids.  You're welcome.}

It is a priority of mine to be the best minister I can be.

• I go in to the church early on Sundays
• I pray before starting curriculum
• I work hard on my church duties when I'm at church, and often during nap time at home
• I make an effort to keep in touch with people from church throughout the week
• I pray for my volunteers

...so:

• I don't tell you I'll pray for you when I won't, because prayer is powerful and if you think I'm praying for you it's important that I am
• I don't stay late on Sundays very often, because everyone deserves to get the very best of me and I've been there since 6:30am

It is a priority of mine to make myself a priority. (Yes, I need to work on this one...)

• I get the sunlight I need whenever possible
• I eat at least two meals a day
• I connect with my accountability partner weekly
• I buy myself clothes when I need them
• I rest during nap time
• I get some sort of salon procedure done once a month (i.e. pedicure, waxing, etc.)
• I eat as much chocolate as I want
• I exercise
• I get fresh air
• I spend time alone or with friends, out of the house and away from the kids
• I keep myself clean (spit-up, drool, poop, etc. doesn't stay on me)

...so:

• I don't do most crafts I find on Pinterest, because they frustrate me and take up all my alone time
• I don't do any housework (except laundry) during nap time, to give myself time to relax
• I don't run very many errands with the boys, because it exhausts me and so I have things to do outside the house after hubby gets home

That's all I can think of right now!  These ideas have been brewing in my head for a while now, so it's nice to get them down on "paper."  Thanks for reading!

Best Feeding Method for my Family

DISCLAIMER: This post includes MY opinions about what works best for MY family in terms of feeding.  I don't judge you, you don't judge me.  Okay?  {By reading on you are agreeing to not judge} :)  Thanks!

When my Peanut was born, I planned to try breastfeeding.  Once breastfeeding was going well, I made it my goal to nurse him for 6 months (and in the back of my mind, if I made it to 3 months I would consider that a huge success!).

Well, the Peanut got his first taste of formula at 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days old.  And let me tell you, it's the best thing I've done for our family since coming home from the hospital!

I love that I exclusively breastfed for as long as I did.  I'm proud of myself for making it that long - - significantly longer than I made it with the Love Bug!  I know that "Breast is Best."  I'm not arguing with that - - it just makes sense that the best nutrition for my baby would be what God gave me to feed him!  Doy, people.  God knows what He's doing!  But for my family, right now, a combination of breastmilk AND {brace yourself} formula is best.

When I was exclusively breastfeeding, I was in a slump.  I don't want to go so far as to say I hated breastfeeding, but... well, I hated breastfeeding.  I formula-fed my firstborn, so I was used to being able to look into my son's eyes while feeding him.  I couldn't do that while breastfeeding.  I also couldn't leave the house without pumping my brains out, which made it so difficult to do anything that made me feel like a normal human being.  I didn't like being the only one who could feed him, because I also wanted to be able to make dinner each night, regardless of when the Peanut needed to be fed.

After two months of feeling more like a milk maid than a mom, I finally talked to my husband about introducing formula.  Here's what we came up with:

I would nurse him when he woke up first thing in the morning (usually between 6-7am)
He would get bottles of formula all through the day, until 7pm
I would pump during nap time
I would nurse him at bedtime (7pm) and throughout the night whenever he woke up (usually between 11:30-12:30 and 3-4am when we started out)
The milk I pump is being saved in the freezer for the day he does turn 6 months old and I really am done with breastfeeding all together - - that way, he'll still be able to get at least a little breastmilk after I'm done.

OH.  MY.  GOODNESS.  What a difference it made!  Not only am I happier, but my kids have their mama back.  I can now cherish the time I spend holding my Peanut for his feedings.  I can look him in the eye and he'll even stop once in a while to smile at me.  He's still getting the nutrients of my breastmilk, without making me feel like a milkmaid all day long.  I can bring him to the babysitter and go to work without pumping while I get dressed in the morning.  And hubby can feed him, too!

Happy baby AND mama after first taste of formula!

This is what is working for our family.  I know that Breast is Best, and that's why he's still getting that milky goodness, too.  If you're considering stopping breastfeeding, I encourage you to consider a similar schedule, where you nurse half the time and use formula the other half.  Be aware of what it will do to your milk supply, though!  I anticipate I'll be done nursing and pumping by the time he's 6 months old (which is the way I want it - - but make sure you are okay with what it will do to your body).  Do your research!  Here are some links that really helped me:

Breastfeeding vs Formula Feeding Infographic
The Common Misconceptions of Formula Feeding Mothers
How I Stored 300 ounces of Breastmilk in 3 Months
Timeline of a Breastfed Baby

Happy feeding - however you choose!