Things I Do & Don't Do

At a MOPS meeting recently, a friend mentioned something she had learned once from a speaker: Make a list of things you do and things you don't do.

I love this idea!  There are so many things that I try to do because I feel pressured to do them - - whether it's pressure from myself, my friends, Pinterest, Facebook, whatever!  But the things I do because I feel pressured to do them get in the way of the things that I want to do that I'm actually good at and want to make a priority!  So here's my list - - or at least a preliminary list.  The things in red are things I am trying to do (or not to do) - - goals.  :)

It is a priority of mine to support and respect my husband.

• I make his lunch whenever I can
• I ask him about his day
• I pray for him throughout the day
• I touch him, and let him touch me
• I look my best when he walks in the door
• I greet him with a smile

...so:

• I don't play with the kids 30 minutes before hubby gets home, to give myself time to get ready for him
• I don't wear provocative clothing (in public), to respect the fact that I am his and his alone
• I don't always clean the dishes after dinner, to make time for us and to have energy for him

It is a priority of mine to be the best mother I can be.

• I make homemade dinners at least 4 times a week
• I teach my kids to pray before meals and before bed
• I pray for my kids and my husband
• I get up when my kids get up
• I keep the house manageably clean
• I prioritize Fridays as family days
• I don't fight with my husband in front of the kids

...so:

• I don't make homemade bread, because I've tried and I'm bad at it
• I don't breastfeed (anymore), because I was giving my boys the worst of myself when I felt tied down with breastfeeding
• I don't swear, because I don't want my boys to
• I don't let just anyone watch my boys, because not everyone has the same values that I do
• I don't listen to whining, because I want my boys to know how to communicate effectively

{This list could be longer - - of things I do and things I don't do - - but I'll stop there, and won't get on my soap box at this time about how I mother my kids.  You're welcome.}

It is a priority of mine to be the best minister I can be.

• I go in to the church early on Sundays
• I pray before starting curriculum
• I work hard on my church duties when I'm at church, and often during nap time at home
• I make an effort to keep in touch with people from church throughout the week
• I pray for my volunteers

...so:

• I don't tell you I'll pray for you when I won't, because prayer is powerful and if you think I'm praying for you it's important that I am
• I don't stay late on Sundays very often, because everyone deserves to get the very best of me and I've been there since 6:30am

It is a priority of mine to make myself a priority. (Yes, I need to work on this one...)

• I get the sunlight I need whenever possible
• I eat at least two meals a day
• I connect with my accountability partner weekly
• I buy myself clothes when I need them
• I rest during nap time
• I get some sort of salon procedure done once a month (i.e. pedicure, waxing, etc.)
• I eat as much chocolate as I want
• I exercise
• I get fresh air
• I spend time alone or with friends, out of the house and away from the kids
• I keep myself clean (spit-up, drool, poop, etc. doesn't stay on me)

...so:

• I don't do most crafts I find on Pinterest, because they frustrate me and take up all my alone time
• I don't do any housework (except laundry) during nap time, to give myself time to relax
• I don't run very many errands with the boys, because it exhausts me and so I have things to do outside the house after hubby gets home

That's all I can think of right now!  These ideas have been brewing in my head for a while now, so it's nice to get them down on "paper."  Thanks for reading!

The Things I Love Most About My Husband

Picture Source: http://www.msruntheus.com/above-all-love-each-other-deeply/

1. He's goofy
2. He's tall
3. His goatee (even though I complain about it a lot)
4. He is a wonderful father
5. He and I fit together like two puzzle pieces
6. When he tells a 15-minute story that anyone else could tell in 2
7. I can beat him at Killer Bunnies ;) ;)
8. His purity
9. His dedication to our family
10. The fact that he cannot pull off a polo - - and he knows it
11. How he provides for our family
12. The kids he gave me
13. His family, my in-laws
14. His idea of a good time is sitting at home watching Netflix
15. He steps in and helps with the kids all the time
16. He is sensitive to my needs: emotional, physical, spiritual
17. He trusts in God
18. He's the hottest man I know!
19. He's my best friend
20. He's my favorite person to sit around the house with
21. He likes my cooking
22. He takes care of all of us
23. He cooks for us once in a while - and enjoys it!
24. ...and there's so, so much more!

Happy 26th birthday, my love! XO

If Only We Could Pay Our Hubbies

I recently wrote a post about what our paychecks would be as Stay-At-Home Moms.  It gave me the idea to write a post about how much our hubbies do outside of their punch-the-clock job.

I am so blessed to have a husband who cares about our family and loves being at home!  Unfortunately, he is not able to be at home nearly as much as either of us would like.  He works long hours and has a very long commute each day.  Thankfully he now has Saturdays and Sundays off, so he has a little more time to spend with our family!  I can't begin to express, to you or to him, how incredibly thankful I am for my husband!

I wish I could "pay" him for all that he does, but I know that he feels the same way I do when "working" at home - - that the work is its own reward.  Here is how I would like to pay my hubby...

Setting the table - - A peck on each cheek
Putting our son down for bed - - Tickle Fight!!
Planning a date - - :x ;)
Clearing the table - - A big bear hug
Playing with our son - - A night of cuddling
Doing Dishes - - One long kiss
Doing anything off of his honey-do list - - A romantic kiss for each minute it takes him
Helping me in the kitchen - - A good old fashioned flour fight!

What does your hubby do that lets you know he cares about your family?

Stay-At-Home Mama's Paycheck

This is just for fun today - - I was thinking about how much I might be paid if I were a "professional" Stay-at-Home Mom... here's what I came up with!

Choose how you would be paid, and calculate it!  It's fun :)

Childcare - - Minimum Pay $80.41/day, or $402.05/week
Classroom Teacher - Work 7:30-6:30, with two one-hour breaks for nap time = 9 hours a day at $7.25/hr
...if you have early childhood credits, add another $.25/hr for each credit
...if you have a college degree, add another $.75/hr

At the very minimum - - $65.25 per day

Daycare Director (if you push paperwork for your child's medical care, babysitters, etc.) - ~2 hours per month = 4 minutes/day at $10/hr
...if your child has special needs, add more time based on how much paperwork there is
...if you have a business degree, add another $5/hr
...if you have more than one child, double, triple, quadruple the time accordingly

At the very minimum - - $.66 per day

Extra Help (if you have children with special needs) - 2 hours per day at $7.25/hr
...if you have a degree in special education, you should be making around $10/hr (and add more if you have graduate degrees)
...depending on the extent of the needs of your child, add more time

At the very minimum - - $14.50 per day

Housework - - Minimum Pay $19/day, or $95/week
You'll have to calculate your own housework hours, based on how big your house is
Minimum 1 hour per day at an average of $15/hr
...if you have experience cleaning houses professionally, use the rate you used when you cleaned
...if you make your own cleaners, add in the hours spent making them and the money you saved your family

Laundry - - $4/load, averaging 1 load a day for a small family = $4/day, or $20/week
...if you wash your clothes by hand, calculate your pay hourly based on time you spend actively washing/hanging/folding clothes at $8/hr
...if you hang-dry your machine-washed clothes, add $.50 per load for saving your family money
...add another $1/hr per child in your family (add another $1/hr for each child if you hand-wash)

At the very minimum - - $4 per day

Bill Paying - - Minimum Pay $3.11/day, or $21.77/week
Taxes - Once a year, if you do your own $30/hour (add $5 for each year of experience you have doing this) for 3 hours

At the very minimum - - $.25 per day

($90 per year / 365 days)

 

Monthly Bills - $2 per bill you pay by writing the check and mailing, figure 5 bills a week

...if you have to go to the Post Office, add another $4 per trip for travel time

...if you have to walk across the street to get to the mailbox, add another $3 per crossing ($6 per trip to the mailbox) for the danger

At the very minimum - - $1.43 per day

($10 per week / 7 days)

 

Weekly Budget Meeting -2 hours a week at $5/hr = $10 per week

...if you have gone through any coursework that helps with budgeting, add another $3 per week

...if you stick to the budget, you get another $3 per week

At the very minimum - - $1.43 per day

($10 per week / 7 days)

Health Care - - Minimum Pay $4.29/day, or $30/week

Boo Boo Preparedness - Flat rate of $30/week

...if you have a degree in medicine, add however much you think that's worth

...if you have more than one child, add another $10 per week per child

...if you have boys, add another $5 per boy per week

...if you have toddlers between the ages of 13months-24months, add another $5 per toddler per week

At the very minimum - - $4.29 per day

($30 per week / 7 days)

 

Meal Preparation - - Minimum Pay  $15/day, or $105/week

Each Meal - $5 per meal (or $15 per day)

...if you cook from scratch, add in another $5 per meal

...if you ever bake, add another $2 per baked good you make each week on average

...if you use organic ingredients, add another $1 per meal

...if you cook for guests at least once every week, add another $10 per week

...if you have more than 4 people to cook for (including yourself), add another $1 per meal

...if you make separate meals for different kids because of picky eaters or allergies, count those meals separately

At the very minimum - - $15 per day

 





Minimum Yearly Pay: $33,998.64

So... can your hubby afford to pay you?

This certainly isn't meant to downgrade what our hubbies do to support our families.  It's just fun to look at, and hopefully will boost your spirits the next time you feel like what you are doing isn't worthwhile.  Above all else, remember what God says about our job:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

~ Colossians 3:23

Valentine's Day - - Be Thankful

I was browsing on Facebook when I came across a friend's status update that was so uplifting I just had to share it with you!

My husband doesn't usually surprise me with flowers or candy. He doesn't whisk me off on romantic getaways or escort me around to the finest restaurants. I don't have an expensive engagement ring and I won't find any little boxes on Valentine's Day. What my husband does do outweighs anything he doesn't. He wakes up everyday, prepared to be the leader of our home. He loves me unconditionally and will put our family's needs in front of his wants. I rest assured that I can depend on him in any situation and we will come out stronger than before. If Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate anything, I will be celebrating the love of a godly man ♥

This Valentine's Day, don't focus on what your husband doesn't do for you.  Don't think about the candy you were hoping for, the flowers he hasn't bought you, or the getaway you had been planning in your daydreams.  Remember why you married your man, and thank him as well as God for the blessings he brings to you and to your family.

52 Reasons I am Thankful for my Husband

• He provides for our family - - no matter how difficult
• He makes sure that I am relaxed and have time for myself
• He prays with me
• He happily plays with our son
• He always goes to work
• He is an excellent employee
• He holds me at night
• He tells me that he loves me
• He brings me home little treats once in a while
• He comes home from a 12 hour shift and does housework
• He cares a great deal about the wellbeing of our son
• He loves our son
• He stands up for our family
• He encourages me
• He puts the Love Bug to bed each night
• He doesn't whine
• He is quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry
• He has a great conscience
• He is tidy (for the most part!)
• He values our relationship enough to stay up all night to work out an argument
• He is my best friend
• He supports me in my decisions
• He tells me what he honestly thinks, and does so kindly
• He compliments me
• He loves me unconditionally
• He loves the Lord
• He is musical
• He is inventive
• He can fix anything... sometimes just by touching it!
• He doesn't swear
• He speaks well of people
• He controls his anger
• He asks me my opinion
• He was so patient with me when I was pregnant and hormonal
• He will never leave me
• He'll buy me feminine products
• He's hot
• He has a unique smile
• He only has eyes for me
• He loves making me smile
• He loves making our son laugh
• He saved himself for me
• He reminds me to take Midol when I'm cramping
• He is humble
• He's creative
• He helps me feel safe
• He protects our family
• He turns the lights off and locks the doors at night
• He takes his time making big decisions
• He is very generous
• He keeps his word
• He supports me in my goals

Go text your hubby and tell him one thing you're thankful for about him!!

15 Ways to Save Your Marriage

 

If you want to save your marriage, Jesus is the only way!  Soak up all the good Words of God that you can, and work hard to apply them to your marriage.

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,  and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Don't dwell on what he's doing or not doing, focus on what you can do better.  Here are some starting points:

1. Communicate Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:5-6
2. Have sex - often May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.  A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Proverbs 5:18-19
3. Speak well of your husband behind his back A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
4. Encourage him As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
5. Write notes for him to find throughout the day Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
6. Listen to him To answer before listening - that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
7. Be prudent with your money, especially if your husband is the only wage-earner Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14
8. Remain faithful to your husband A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10
9. Realize that love is a verb - - it's what you do, not what you feel Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12
10. Be his best friend A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
11. Spend daily time with the Lord Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
12. Talk together about God The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10
13. Forgive him A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
14. Live by God's standards Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. Proverbs 3:7
15. Don't be ashamed to get counseling from a Christian counselor Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice? Proverbs 8:1