It's so easy for us as women to feel unbeautiful. We've talked about how our mindsets are affected when we surround ourselves with the media rather than God's Truth. But sometimes even when our hearts and minds are in the right place we still feel unattractive. What can we do about that?
You Are Beautiful #3: Make a Change
We need to realize how our bodies and faces are beautiful. Take a good look in the mirror and point out the aspects that make you beautiful. Even better, have your husband or a good friend do this for you. Have them be specific. Write down what they say.Something amazing happens when we write things down. Yesterday we wrote down verses that would remind us of our beauty. The act of writing down encouraging words helps that encouragement to stick in your mind. Once it is in your mind, it will eventually collide with your heart.
The other thing that writing down positive and encouraging messages to yourself does is it gives you something to look back on when you're feeling down. Keep the paper on which you're writing these things down and look back on it often.
When you're done with this exercise, pick out three things from your list that you feel good about naturally. Put stars by those.
Pick out three things from your list that you find it hard to believe is beautiful about you. Underline these.
Take those underlined things and we're going to work on them. No, this doesn't mean that we're going to "fix" what you think is wrong with yourself - - because it is obviously something that is beautiful about you. The people in your life (especially a family member) won't lie to you about what makes you beautiful to them. You know how it's easiest to be mean to the person you're closest to? Well, if you had a sister or your hubby make this list for you, you can bank on the fact that they didn't lie. They'll be more honest than a girlfriend or most strangers off the street, who might try flattering you just to be nice or avoid conflict.
Take a look at the list I've compiled below and follow the appropriate links, based on what you want to feel better about. You'll be making a change in how you show off that part of your body so that you feel better about it.
Hair - - Go get your hair done professionally. Get a new style or color, or just learn how to style your hair differently! There are lots of YouTube videos that can help you - - type in "how to style ___ (short/long/medium) hair"
Complexion - - Visit the link to find out what colors you should wear to best compliment your complexion.
Nose - - I strongly encourage you to learn to accept your nose as it is. If it bothers you very much, find ways to accent your other features (like your eyes or cheekbones). God made you beautiful - - and He made your nose to perfectly accent your face. If you feel like it is too big or small or curvy, you are not doing a good job accenting your other features.
Eyes - - The link here will show you a way to moisturize your lashes - which will help them to not fall out and possibly even be fuller! Eyelashes were made not only to keep things out of our eyes, but to accentuate the natural beauty of your eyes.
Neck - - If you're like me, you have some flab under your chin. Ugh! Don't you hate it? The way I deal with it is to keep my heal up high. When I look down, I try to keep my chin away from my neck. But every once in a while, to make sure I'm not getting too vain, I do pull my chin close to my neck and embrace the skin I'm in... even if it is stretchier than I'd prefer.
Breasts - - If you're married, I hope your husband has told you how much he loves your breasts. If he hasn't, ask him! I can't tell you what a difference it makes when you ask your hubby something rather than assuming you know what he thinks! The other day I laid down on the bed and asked my hubby, "Which is sexier?" and I kept giving him choices of how I could pose for him. Can I just tell you that I got a huge ego boost. Asking the hubby specific questions gave him the opportunity to tell me exactly what he likes. Whether you're married or not, though, the best way to feel good about your bust is to wear the right bra. If you go to a department store you can get measured, or if you're more comfortable you can measure yourself. Buying the right bra will help you feel good about how you look.
Hips - - If you feel like your hips are too big, the key is to not draw attention to them. You can learn a lot about how to dress appropriately based on your body type using this book. Until you get that book, when you choose your clothes, try to find shirts that go below your pants line. Don't wear skinny jeans. Use belts to keep those pants up!
Butt - - That book will also help you if you have problems with your butt. Here's my suggestion for you if you think your butt is too big or too skinny or too bony or whatever... wear sexy panties! As long as they are the right size, you'll feel better about yourself!
Belly - - Okay, can I just say that the book Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad is an awesome book?? Read it!! But until then, let yourself feel like your belly is sexy. Often our husbands think that our bellies are sexy simply because they are imperfect. Our imperfections do two things: 1) They make us unique. 2) They show our hubbies that they don't have to be perfect, which makes them feel sexier. Try this product for when you're going out, and remember that you're sexier without it.
Thighs - - Yup, that book is for your thighs too! Dressing to fit your body type makes a world of difference. Here's your first job, though - get rid of all your skinny jeans and get some tailored jeans.
Calves - -
Feet - - If you feel like your feet are too big, find shoes that are more delicate and dainty. Wear flare jeans. If you feel like your feet are too small, wear jeggings and flats or normal jeans and some clunkier shoes. If you have trouble with foot odor, there are products that can help you with that!
Hands - - Wear rings! Do your nails!
Arms - - Choose arm lengths that are flattering on you and that you feel comfortable with.
Height - - That book I keep talking about will address height and how to dress and accesorize properly based on your height. Bottom line, if you're tall, use big accessories and if you're short use smaller accessories. If you are short, you can always wear heels, but I would encourage you to embrace your height. If you're tall, embrace it and enjoy all the things you can do that short women can't!
Teeth - - I have always thought that unique smiles are the prettiest. When I was in high school I got braces, and I hated them with every fiber of my being. I felt like they drew attention to my already ugly smile. I was so excited to get them off, and I wore my retainer for a while. But then I got married and I didn't want to wear the retainer at night any more, so I stopped. My teeth moved a little bit since then. I have to tell you - - I love my smile now! All I need is for them to be white and healthy, and I'm happy with the crooked teeth because they make me unique.
Wardrobe - - Choose clothes that fit you well. Choose clothes that you feel comfortable in. Choose clothes that you will wear over and over again. There is no need to have lots of clothes in your wardrobe, you just need layerable clothes.
Once you have finished making changes in the way you see yourself, get some professional photos taken of yourself and your family! Trust me, when you get the pictures back, you'll be able to see yourself through another pair of eyes.
If you want to take an extreme step in changing the way you see yourself, check out this opportunity put forth by Christian author Shari Braendel. If Beauty Boot Camp is too expensive for you, check out her book Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad.
See my past posts about this topic here:
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