Writing About it Helps

Did you ever have a morning when you woke up feeling better about everything? Things for people to take you long ago come flooding back, and the way you felt and is fresh in your mind. Things to people might do to you today or tomorrow or within the next month on your mind , and you can't let go of how people are making you feel... without them even doing anything to you.

That's the way I woke up this morning. I can't get rid of this feeling of bitterness, even though nothing has happened to me in quite a while to make me feel this way. I didn't even have bad dreams last night, that I can remember. But I keep replaying scenarios in my head of things that have never happened, and likely won't happen, and I can't shake the feeling that it is giving me.

It's amazing how much writing can help, though. I already feel this weight lifting from my chest. So thank you for listening! I feel a hundred times better.

You can't make this stuff up!

We just potty trained the Love Bug, so he has been naked on the bottom quite a bit when he is at home... Just because it's so much easier than whipping off his pants every time he needs to go potty!

This morning he did 2 things with his naked self that are just way too funny not too write down.

When I let him out of his bedroom this morning, he ran into the master bedroom and started dancing on our bed. And he made up a little song. It went like this:

"I've got a package, I've got a package!"

Then, when I was getting him dressed... before his pants were on... he flicked his penis (yes, we call a penis a penis) and said, "Naked! Naked!"

Ah, life with boys! I just love it.

What a Week {and it's only Wednesday}

It has been a long time since my last post, but this week has been so eventful that it would be a crime not to write about it!

We started the week like any other - - Sunday was sunny and we had some family fun shopping at Target with money that we don't have.  You know how a tri to Target goes... you go in for chap stick and end up paying $200 at the register for the many things that you never knew you needed!  When we walked in, we headed straight for the carts that can hold three kids.  I'm so glad they have those.  Target is a sanctuary for me.  If I couldn't strap my kids down in my sacred place and push them wherever I waned them to go, I can't imagine where else I would go to get a little peace (and buy a pretty pink handbag at the same time!).  Hubby was with us that day, and of course the Love Bug asked if he could walk.  Are you sitting down, ladies?  My wonderful husband almost let our 2-year-old walk!  Don't worry - - I caught the child before the words were uttered and got him pinned between the plastic seat and the straps.  It was a close one, though!

On Monday hubby's alarm didn't go off, so he had to take the car.  The Peanut cried all morning (no, I'm not exaggerating).  Hubby texted to see how my day was going, and this is the picture I sent him:

Crying and crying and crying and finally fell asleep while I carried him around trying to get some things done!  The little stinker.

When the babysitter got to the house, I caught a ride with a friend in to work.  What a blessing that car ride was!  If you ever need encouragement, just let your husband take your car for the day and ask a friend to pick you up.  I got some much-needed time with her because of a faulty alarm clock, and I am so grateful for that time!  When I got home, I tossed the kids in their cribs for nap time and thought I could get some work done.  Little did I know, I would get a total of 10 minutes to myself that day.  The Love Bug got his leg stuck in his crib.  I wish I had taken pictures, but he was so upset I couldn't really do anything other than cry with him.  He got it caught all the way up above his knee, and he was really jammed in there.  I did my best to get it out myself, but I just couldn't.  Finally, I called 9-1-1 for the second time in my life.  They send 3 firefighters and an ambulance.  It took all three of them to get his leg out of the crib, but to my surprise they didn't have to cut the bars at all!




The next day was a tiny bit worse in terms of baby crying... but we definitely had a better nap time!

It took me forever to get this little man to sleep because he was teething so bad yesterday.  He slept for a little less than an hour, but it was enough time for me to eat my lunch!  I also was able to talk with my accountability partner and dear friend, which was absolutely wonderful!  If you don't have an accountability partner, you need one!

This morning was the icing on the cake that has been my week... and it's only Wednesday!  I hope there aren't sprinkles or fancy lettering in store for us in the next few days...

The boys actually let me sleep until 7:15 this morning!  I jumped out of bed ready to seize the day as any mother of two boys under 3 would - - slowly and groggily.  I decided to get the Love Bug up first {dun dun duuuuun} and then feed the Peanut.  Well, while I was changing a dirty diaper before 8am, my toddler was downstairs chug-alugging the brand new bottle of Infant's Advil!

I'm so grateful for our pediatrician.  She gave me the number for Poison Control (which I wrote down incorrectly and reached "New York's Hottest Talk Line") and reassured me that he would probably be fine because he's... well, a bigger kid.  Once I found the correct number for Poison Control, the nicest lady calmly told me that my oldest baby would have a belly ache and that's probably about it.

What a week!  I'm hoping for some sort of normalcy to rest upon my family within the next few days.

Riches amidst the Rags:
- Wonderful car ride with a friend
- Great first responders who kept me and my Love Bug calm and safe during a state of panic
- Sitting in a Fire Truck (for fun - - not out of necessity!)
- Wonderful chat with another friend
- Infant's Advil to help a teething baby
- Maggie from Poison Control when that Advil was downed by my 2-year-old
- A great pediatrician
- Great friends who have been praying for us this week
- A good night's sleep for all of us last night
- Popcorn and conversation with hubby last night
- Target

Hardest Job in the World??

There was a video that went viral the other day about the job of a mother - - and how it's the hardest job in the world.  It was a cool video, actually.  Very clever.  But it has sparked a lot of conversation about whether or not mothering truly is the hardest job in the world?

I've actually been thinking about this question for a while now - - a friend of mine had posted an article on Facebook that questioned this thesis that being a stay-at-home parent is not actually the hardest job in the world.  I didn't read the article, but I read some of my friends' responses to this post, and was quite insulted by what some people had to say about what I do.

Here's the thing: Of course mothering is not the hardest job in the world!  Duh!  There are people in the bonds of slavery in our own country.  There are children working for pennies a day.  I have it much better than a lot of people.  But I think what people are trying to say when they state that parenthood is the hardest job in the world is that it's harder than you might think.

There are so many rewards to mothering, and I don't think anyone would argue with that.  I don't think I have to even mention how it feels when my son calls me "mama" or when he walked for the first time, or the joys of teaching them about Jesus.  Being a mother is so very rewarding, and it's the highest calling I have.  But the rewards don't take away from how difficult my job is.

What makes mothering hard is that people constantly need me.  There is very little time to care for myself, because I'm caring for my adorable little redheads.

What makes mothering hard is the physical reaction that only I have to my kids.  There are mothers who breastfeed until their nipples bleed (admittedly, not I!).  When my kids cry, it physically hurts me.  I delivered these children, and my body will never be the same.  It still is painful to do some simple things.  Postpartum depression sets in and I'm gone for the day.  Stay-at-home dads can't even relate to that.

What makes mothering hard is the sleepless nights.  Last night my OLDEST son was up at least once every hour.  When he's not up, the Peanut is up.  When they're both sleeping, I can't because I'm waiting to hear one of them cry, or worrying about how to pay for college.

What makes mothering hard is the tremendous pressure I am under.  There are pressures to choose the right foods, discipline techniques, schools, toys, books.  Pressures to raise my boys, keep them alive, teach them to love Jesus, and help them become the men they are supposed to grow into.  I can't imagine a pressure higher than that.

I love being a mother, and I am rewarded {almost} every day by my kids.  But don't ever discount what I do, and don't pretend that you have any idea about how easy or hard my job is.  If you do, just know that I'm sleep deprived and could at any moment burst into tears or slap you across the face.  Because I'm a mother.

Things I Do & Don't Do

At a MOPS meeting recently, a friend mentioned something she had learned once from a speaker: Make a list of things you do and things you don't do.

I love this idea!  There are so many things that I try to do because I feel pressured to do them - - whether it's pressure from myself, my friends, Pinterest, Facebook, whatever!  But the things I do because I feel pressured to do them get in the way of the things that I want to do that I'm actually good at and want to make a priority!  So here's my list - - or at least a preliminary list.  The things in red are things I am trying to do (or not to do) - - goals.  :)

It is a priority of mine to support and respect my husband.

• I make his lunch whenever I can
• I ask him about his day
• I pray for him throughout the day
• I touch him, and let him touch me
• I look my best when he walks in the door
• I greet him with a smile

...so:

• I don't play with the kids 30 minutes before hubby gets home, to give myself time to get ready for him
• I don't wear provocative clothing (in public), to respect the fact that I am his and his alone
• I don't always clean the dishes after dinner, to make time for us and to have energy for him

It is a priority of mine to be the best mother I can be.

• I make homemade dinners at least 4 times a week
• I teach my kids to pray before meals and before bed
• I pray for my kids and my husband
• I get up when my kids get up
• I keep the house manageably clean
• I prioritize Fridays as family days
• I don't fight with my husband in front of the kids

...so:

• I don't make homemade bread, because I've tried and I'm bad at it
• I don't breastfeed (anymore), because I was giving my boys the worst of myself when I felt tied down with breastfeeding
• I don't swear, because I don't want my boys to
• I don't let just anyone watch my boys, because not everyone has the same values that I do
• I don't listen to whining, because I want my boys to know how to communicate effectively

{This list could be longer - - of things I do and things I don't do - - but I'll stop there, and won't get on my soap box at this time about how I mother my kids.  You're welcome.}

It is a priority of mine to be the best minister I can be.

• I go in to the church early on Sundays
• I pray before starting curriculum
• I work hard on my church duties when I'm at church, and often during nap time at home
• I make an effort to keep in touch with people from church throughout the week
• I pray for my volunteers

...so:

• I don't tell you I'll pray for you when I won't, because prayer is powerful and if you think I'm praying for you it's important that I am
• I don't stay late on Sundays very often, because everyone deserves to get the very best of me and I've been there since 6:30am

It is a priority of mine to make myself a priority. (Yes, I need to work on this one...)

• I get the sunlight I need whenever possible
• I eat at least two meals a day
• I connect with my accountability partner weekly
• I buy myself clothes when I need them
• I rest during nap time
• I get some sort of salon procedure done once a month (i.e. pedicure, waxing, etc.)
• I eat as much chocolate as I want
• I exercise
• I get fresh air
• I spend time alone or with friends, out of the house and away from the kids
• I keep myself clean (spit-up, drool, poop, etc. doesn't stay on me)

...so:

• I don't do most crafts I find on Pinterest, because they frustrate me and take up all my alone time
• I don't do any housework (except laundry) during nap time, to give myself time to relax
• I don't run very many errands with the boys, because it exhausts me and so I have things to do outside the house after hubby gets home

That's all I can think of right now!  These ideas have been brewing in my head for a while now, so it's nice to get them down on "paper."  Thanks for reading!

Our Budgeting System

 

Our budgeting system really works for our family.  We learned what we learned from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class.  That was the best investment we have EVER made!  I highly recommend that everyone take this class.

 



 

The first step in coming up with a budget is to create a monthly cash flow plan.  You can find a template for this on Dave Ramsey's site.  The idea is that you plan out where every penny of your money goes each month - - it's called a zero-based budget.  When you get to the end of the budget for the month, you should have $0 left over.  That's okay, because you budget in savings.

Figure out what all of your bills for the month total to, using Dave Ramsey's form.  This gives you a great base for your budget.

We use the Allocated Spending Plan each week to move our money around between accounts.  This form was given to us when we took FPU, and it's not available online for free.  What it does is it breaks down all of the items in your monthly cash flow plan, and gives you space to decide when you'll make each payment during the month.  We have it all laid out so that we pay all of our bills on time.

Each week after we get paid, I write out on a separate sheet of paper what money is going in which account.  Then I make our transfers, since all of our paychecks are automatically deposited into the same account.

Hubby's checking is for most of our bills.  Internet, Netflix (which is our replacement for cable), Electric, etc. are automatically withdrawn from his account, so I leave those amounts in his account.

My checking is for any checks that we write.  It's the only account we have a checkbook for.  Out of that account comes tithe, Compassion, student loan payments, and car payments come out of that one.

My savings account is our emergency fund.  His savings is our short-term savings.

Notice the "IOU" in Toiletries - - we borrowed for babysitter, so the next time there is
budgeted money for a babysitter, we will put it in toiletries.

We take out cash for household expenses, which works SO well for us!  It's called the envelope system, and it's wonderful.  Instead of us both using our debit cards to make purchases like groceries, coffee, gas, and other expenses, we have cash set aside for each individual category.  It keeps us on budget.

The categories we budget for in our envelope system are:
Babysitter
Laundry
Gifts
Toiletries
Gas
Groceries
Baby Supplies
Date
Repairs

Happy Budgeting!

Birth Story: The Peanut

I've been wanting to write this post for a long time. I need to get it down on paper before I forget the details!

On December 7th, 2013 I went into labor with my second baby. It was a Saturday, and we go to church on Saturday night. I really didn't want to miss church, so we went... contractions and all! Communion was served that night, and as soon as it was our turn to stand up a contraction hit. I think I gave one of our staff members a bit of a scare that the baby was going to be born right there in the church! Little did we know that our peanut wasn't going to come until we forced him out!

The rest of the evening was spent waiting. It was a much different experience than with the Love Bug, especially because we had to work out a babysitter who could get to our house in time for me to deliver at the hospital. We waited out the contractions, and when they became more difficult to bear, I called my midwife and we are off to the hospital! My mom came to watch the Love Bug, who was already in bed.

At the hospital I was about to get quite frustrated about many different things. First, the front desk didn't have any of my paperwork... Which I had brought in a week or two before. So I had to sit there contracting by she asked me my name, date of birth, due date... And my red head had smoke coming out of its ears while there was a baby trying to tunnel its way out of me.

When we were finally brought to a room, I was checked, and told said I could leave her in the bathtub. I did so for a while, and in the tub contractions stopped. When I was checked again, I haven't had any strong contractions for close to an hour. The midwife admitted me anyway, because I had shown some progression.

Hubby and I spent the night in the hospital. No more contractions. Just a very uncomfortable couch for him, and being checked every couple of hours for me.

On Sunday, I was told that I could either go home or have them break my water. Going home was not an option in my mind, so I flooded the delivery room!

Still no contractions.

For hours, I bounced on a birthing ball, watch The Cosby Show, took walks and did everything imaginable to try to start labor. I even tried pumping milk! It was a terrible, terrible experience.

I was trying to avoid having an IV , because I have a phobia of needles. They offered me Petocin a couple times, & I turned them down. I was determined to have this baby with no needles!

But if you've ever bounced on a yoga ball for 6 hours straight, you will understand the desperate need I had to get this baby out of my body! I finally conceded and let them stick me.

The medicine brought on contractions strong and fast. I think I got my first dose around 630 pm and I know that I had my baby within an hour! They gave me medicine to help me sleep through some of the pain, which was absolutely wonderful.

Since it was my second baby, his wife let me call the shots on when I wanted to push. I was so ready after 24 hours of trying to get this baby out of me but I'm pretty sure I started pushing quite a bit early. But I pushed for 10 minutes, and we had our Peanut!